God doesn’t always wait for you to change to bring your spouse back.
Sometimes he brings them back to change you, so they can be a witness of true change.
I used to hear, “God must change you first.” That he did.
“God isn’t going to bring them back to the same old thing. Sometimes he does.” And he did!
I hadn’t fully changed when my spouse returned. It was definitely a process. Most of that process occurred after he was home.
I had to learn how to deal with situations differently than before. I had to learn how to handle disagreements. Or shall I say, heated arguments that turned disrespectful.
A lot of times a prodigal takes any form of disagreement as an attack. I had to learn how to handle him feeling attacked thinking it’s me, when it wasn’t. The devil will focus their eyes on you so they can’t see the true enemy and vice versa.
Every argument used to be he’s leaving. When I learned to arise from that, I stopped threatening to put him out. You know what happened when I stopped saying that???? He started threatening me with those same words. “I’m leaving!” He started wanting to put himself out! And he did!!! More than once.
We were used to those toxic words. Our foundation was built on leaving when it gets tough. Without any resolve whatsoever.
Since our foundation was built on leaving, I’m not gonna lie sometimes the old foundation seems better. “Put him out!”
However, the new foundation is more sturdy but far from easy. Those who are dealing with this stop using threats to build your foundation. It will back fire on you.
Their leaving is usually a pattern that was built, they return to familiarity when their not used to resolving conflict.
As standers don’t be tempted with familiarity when it’s tough. You Know good and well God told you not to go back that old dirty place!
Learn how to rise your head above water when it feels like you are drowning.
Fight the temptation of putting them out.
Let me put this disclaimer out there. I’m not speaking of dealing with abuse!
I love you all. Fight the good fight of faith!
If you’re believing for healing and restoration of your marriage BOOK YOUR CONSULTATION OR FOLLOW UP TODAY.